


You Are Young

by sunshinexbomb



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Gen, Gen Fic, Harry being a sad panda, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-09
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-13 20:50:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/507597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinexbomb/pseuds/sunshinexbomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry doesn’t know when it happens exactly, but one day he wakes up and realizes that being a part of one of the biggest boy bands in the world sort of sucks sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Young

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heliotropelied](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heliotropelied/gifts).



> Zafreen wanted something based off the boys singing "You Are Young" by Keane to Harry. So I made Harry be a sad panda and the boys sang to him. You're welcome.

Harry doesn’t know when it happens exactly, but one day he wakes up and realizes that being a part of one of the biggest boy bands in the world sort of sucks sometimes.

He’s tired of sleeping in too-small bunks on the tour bus or stuffy hotel rooms in cities he never remembers the name of. He’s tired of the lack of privacy and all the restrictions he has to live by. He’s tired of answering the same interview questions all the time and having thirteen year old girls screaming in his face. He’s tired of being away from his mom and sister and friends back in Cheshire.

Harry’s just really, really tired.

It’s not that he doesn’t love his life, because he does, a lot. He loves the four boys that have become his family and he loves his fans and he loves that indescribable high he gets from singing his heart out to thousands of people.

It’s just sometimes Harry wishes he could press pause and take a moment to relax. The constant touring and the back-to-back shows are wearing down on him and he really wants to escape it all and go back to playing footie in the backyard with his friends and eating freshly baked cookies in the kitchen while his mom tells him about her day.

Harry knows it’s really not that big a deal, whatever it is he’s feeling. It’s not like he’s suffering from a crippling depression or anything of the sort. Just sometimes he gets bouts of homesickness or flashes of frustration and all he wants to be alone and isolated. He goes sort of quiet and he shuts himself off from the others in attempt to sort out his emotions. Sometimes it helps, but sometimes it just makes him feel sadder and then he’s torn between wanting comfort and receding farther into himself.

The whole situation just has Harry a bit confused.

\--

Louis’s the first one to notice that something’s wrong, and of course he is, because when is Louis _not_ the first to notice?

They’d just played a show in Washington DC, and it’s one of their best shows on the world tour thus far. The crowd was so into everything they were doing and they were singing back every word and Harry was soaking it all up, filling himself with the adrenaline and getting high off the excitement of it all.

But the moment they take their bows and step off stage, Harry feels the energy drain away and exhaustion slams into him. His bones feel too heavy under his skin and his throat is raw and he can barely keep his eyes open.

Zayn and Liam both look knackered too but Louis and Niall are still buzzing from their time on stage. It seems to take forever to get them out of the venue, away from the fans and into the van that would take them to the hotel.

Harry crawls into the back seat and curls up by the window. He listens to everyone discussing plans but doesn’t really participate in the conversation. Liam suggests a movie night and Zayn immediately agrees. Louis and Niall grumble in protest, obviously wanting to go out but also agree once Liam starts going off on some tangent about bonding and spending time together and Niall what are you even gonna do if you go out, you can’t drink here.

“Movies sound good to you, Harry?” Niall asks from beside him.

For a minute, Harry considers opting out of the movie night. He doesn’t really feel like being around the others, and he sort of just wants to return to the dark of his hotel room and drift into sleep. But then he’s looking into Niall’s face and his big blue eyes and everyone else is also staring at him sort of expectantly so he says, “Yeah, sounds good.”

Upon returning to the hotel, they all shower and slip into more comfortable clothes and then congregate in Louis and Liam’s hotel room. Louis orders a couple of pizzas and Niall’s snuck in a couple of beers from somewhere.

Harry makes a spot for himself next to the arm of the couch and Louis snuggles up next to him, his body warm and smelling of soap and complimentary hotel shampoo. For a moment Harry feels that sadness that’s been creeping up from the pit of his stomach lately disappear. Louis is soft and familiar and something about him feels like home.

Louis rests his head on Harry’s shoulder and Harry stretches out and makes himself more comfortable as the usual argument of what to watch starts up.

“We never get to watch what I want to watch,” Zayn complains with a huff, looking up at Harry and Louis who have taken over the couch leaving him, Liam, and Niall on the floor.

“That’s because no one gets the movies you want to watch,” Louis says, rolling his eyes and toeing one of Zayn’s ribs, making the younger boy yelp with surprise.

“We could always watch a movie by Pix—“

“No,” they all chorus back, cutting Liam off.

Usually Harry contributes to the arguments, trying to get his favorites played, but today the mindless bickering is sort of getting on his nerves and he doesn’t know why the others can’t just _pick a damn movie _.__

It’s not the first time that something small like this has set Harry on edge, and that frustrates him because he doesn’t know why Zayn and Liam wrestling on the floor and spilling a bottle of Corona (“Seriously, guys? I was gonna drink that,” Niall moans) makes him angry but it just does.

Louis’s more or less sprawled out on top of Harry at this point, and he must feel Harry tense because he asks, “You okay, Haz?”

Harry looks at Louis and it’s one of those moments when he’s completely serious, bright blue eyes filled with genuine concern and devoid of their usual mischievous glint. Sometimes Harry doesn’t know how to take Louis in these situations because he just seems so intense, so he just mumbles out, “Yeah, I’m fine Lou.”

It’s obvious that Louis doesn’t really believe him, but he doesn’t push things, not when the other boys are also there, desperately trying to clean out the beer-soaked carpet. He gives Harry a questioning look, but then takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

“If you say so, Harry,” he replies, squeezing Harry’s hand softly.

Harry forces out a small smile but he doesn’t squeeze back and he almost feels bad because of the dejected look in Louis’s eyes.

He turns his attention to the other three who have finished wiping up their mess and are popping a disc into the DVD player.

“Marvel movie marathon work for you lads?” Liam asks, settling down between Zayn and Niall who are fighting over the bowl of popcorn they had made earlier.

“Always,” Harry answers, and for the rest of the night he focuses all his attention on the screen and tries to avoid Louis’s eyes.

\--

It’s not long before the other boys start to notice Harry’s sudden bad mood also. His behavior changes drastically over the next couple of weeks and his emotions are always in a visibly noticeable state of fluctuation.

They’re all spread out one night on the tour bus. Liam is in his bunk, curtains drawn tight as he calls Danielle. Zayn and Louis are in the small kitchen area, drinking tea and discussing plans for their next day off. Harry’s alone in the back room, curled up on the couch, a book open in his lap.

He’s been doing this for a while. Separating himself from everyone and doing things on his own. He’ll read or listen to his iPod or immerse himself into his laptop – all solitary activities that the others can’t really join him in.

At first, the others, Louis especially, try to coax Harry out of the little bubble he’s trapped himself in, but Harry just goes further into it and eventually they give up and leave him be.

Harry’s grown used to being on his own, which is why he’s surprised when he feels the couch dip next to him and a warm body curl up to his side.

“Watcha doin’, Harry?” Niall asks, nuzzling his nose into the side of Harry’s neck.

The gesture is familiar because by nature Niall is just a touchy-feely person, especially with Harry who, in general, is never one to turn down cuddles. But for some reason Niall’s proximity and the way he wraps himself around Harry makes him stiffen with discomfort.

“Erm, just reading,” Harry replies, and he’s trying to keep his voice casual, but he knows it doesn’t actually sound that way.

“Are you okay, Hazza? You’ve been acting really strange lately,” Niall says, every word dripping with concern.

It takes almost all of Harry’s self-restraint to stop the groan that’s building in the back of his throat from escaping. He’s sick of people always asking him if he’s okay. There’s nothing _wrong_ with him.

“Jesus, I’m fine, Niall,” Harry says, and it comes out a little harsher than he planned.

Niall flinches a little, but doesn’t disentangle from himself from Harry, which only frustrates him more. Harry pushes away from Niall, and the gesture’s not too forceful, but it’s enough to leave Niall with a hurt and confused look on his face that Harry is trying desperately to ignore.

They sit on the couch for a few minutes, awkward silence settling between them. Harry feels bad, he knows that Niall didn’t do anything wrong, that he’s just worried, but he doesn’t feel bad at the same time because he just wishes everyone would leave him alone and let him work through his sour mood on his own.

“’M gonna go to bed,” Harry mumbles out after a while when he can’t take the silence or the looks Niall’s throwing his way.

“’Night, Harry,” Niall says, voice small and quiet.

Harry walks back to the bunks hoping that he’ll be back to his regular self soon.

\--

The next few weeks pass in the same way, with Harry isolating himself and letting his bad mood take control of his actions. He gets more and more irritable as time passes, often snapping at people for the smallest things.

Niall and Liam have taken to avoiding him when they can, not wanting to be on the receiving end of his harsh tones or frustrated looks. Louis is still desperately trying to find out what’s wrong while Zayn is the only one who’s had the balls to call him out on his seemingly irrational behavior.

Harry was hoping that things would get better, but they just seem to get worse and worse every day. He becomes quiet and sullen during interviews, not wanting to answer the same questions over and over again, and lets Liam and Louis monopolize the conversations.

He’s so off his game when he’s on stage, and for some reason being in front of the crowd doesn’t give him the same feeling as before. He avoids the other boys when they come and try to wrap their arms around his waist or pull him into hugs. He misses his cues and goes off key and forgets the words to their songs.

By the time they’re on their last show of the American leg of the tour, Harry’s just done with everything. He’s ready to go back home and relax and try to forget that he’s an internationally known pop-star.

The show starts off relatively well. Harry doesn’t miss any of his solos and he doesn’t mess up any of the words. He even sings one of the more romantic verses with an arm around Louis’s waist and listens to the crowd scream as he looks into the older boy’s eyes.

Things start to go wrong when he totally bombs a note in one of their newer songs. It’s a note that Harry’s hit hundreds of times, and he has no idea why his voice is deciding to fail him now. He blushes red afterwards and tries not to be too obvious when he slips away from the comforting arm Zayn’s strung across his shoulder.

From the corner of his eyes, Harry sees some sort of exchange pass between Louis and Liam. They share this look and then Louis gives a small, almost unnoticeable nod. Harry ignores it, decides it’s not important, and goes back to finish up the last verse of the song like nothing happened.

The song ends in a flourish of drums and guitars and the boys all collapse on the couch as they get ready to read Twitter questions. The practice held so much success in their last tour that they had to bring it back to their current one.

Niall starts things off, recounting one of his most embarrassing days while still on the X-Factor, as per fan request. Harry looks around him as Niall’s voice carries through the stadium only to be interrupted by the high-pitched giggling and laughter of teenaged girls.

To his left, Harry catches sight of Louis motioning not to so discreetly at Dan. Curiosity overwhelms him because well, this is sort of new. It’s not that they’re not all close with the band, because they definitely are, they’re great lads, it’s just that it’s usually Niall who’s seen whispering into their ears the way Louis is now.

They share a few words and nods and smiles and then Dan leans over to whisper something into Josh’s ears. Josh beams and passes the message onto Sandy, and _what the hell is going on?_

Harry frowns as the crowd goes wild to Liam’s rendition of some new song by The Wanted. The message never seems to get to him and he tries to catch Louis’s eyes, but they’re trained pointedly at Liam, who’s belting out the last few notes of the song. Harry can feel the all-too-familiar frustration bubbling in his chest because no one seems to want to let him know what’s happening.

Twitter questions finish off with impersonations (Harry half-heartedly spews out some stuff about food and Justin Bieber and Ireland but he’s more concerned about whatever it was everyone was whispering to each other about). They wait for the screaming to die down a little, and then Liam stands up from the couch and looks into the audience, a huge smile on his face.

“So, we’ve decided to change up our setlist a bit today,” Liam starts off, pausing as the screams increase again, “we want to play you guys a song that means quite a lot to us.”

“As many of you might have noticed, young Harold here hasn’t really been himself for a while,” Louis says, grinning and throwing an arm casually around Harry’s shoulders, “so we wanted to show him that while his constantly being a sad panda can get irritating at times, we still love him, and we’re always there for him.”

“Sing along if you know the words,” Zayn said with a smile as Dan strummed out the beginning notes of a familiar song.

“ _Fearful child, have faith in brighter days/Stay until this darkness fades away/Lie still beside me/I'll hold you now, I'll hold you forever,_ ” Liam starts out, ignoring the crowd and walking towards Harry instead.

Harry knows the words as well as he knows the words to any of their own songs. He remembers late nights with the lights off and the curtains of his bunk pulled tight as he listened to the tune on repeat.

“ _Winter's hand will freeze your heart again/Doors will close, no time to start again/Nothing is given/Except the ties that hold us together_ ,” Liam continues, sitting on the arm of the couch next to Harry. He slings an arm around his shoulders, bumping Louis’s out of the way and moving it down to curl protectively around Harry’s waist.

“ _Lay down your load/'Cause every day it's gonna grow/And bask in the sunshine/Try to pay no mind/Try to pay no mind at all. To all the things that you don't know/You've got time to realise you're shielded by the hands of love/'Cause you are young._ ”

The rest of the band starts crowding around Harry, adding a new twist to old chords with their soft melodies. Harry feels the muscles around his mouth twitch as he tries to control the huge grin that’s starting spread across his cheeks. He turns and buries his head into Liam’s shoulder, skin blushing red, partly from embarrassment and mostly from this overwhelming feeling that’s starting to build in his chest and stomach.

“ _Fading light may make a fool of me/Courage fails, strength slip away from me/Lie still beside me/And hold me now and hold me forever_.”

Harry’s face is still buried in Liam’s soft shoulder but he can hear Niall’s soft voice dancing around the tune while Zayn’s mixes in with soulful harmonies. From his other side, Louis is pulling on him, trying to make him face the crowd, and he can feel someone’s arms wrap around him from behind.

They start in on the chorus again and Harry realizes that yeah, maybe he’s been being a bit of an idiot. It’s obvious from the song and the touches and the whispers of the boys that they love him and maybe his life his hard, but they understand that, and they just want to help him.

The music picks up and then slows down again as the band changes the arrangement up a little. Harry hears Louis’s voice next to him, and he knows there are thousands of people of the room, but it feels like it’s just the two of them.

“ _Of all the things that you don't know/You've got time to realize you're shielded by the hands of love/'Cause you are young_.”

Harry finally lifts his face and it almost startles him how close Louis is, blue eyes sparkling with love and concern.

“ _You've got time, you've got to try to bring some good into this world/'Cause you are young/'Cause you are young_ ,” Harry finally joins in, and him and Louis might not have many parts together in their own songs, but there’s no denying that their voices seem to fit together perfectly, filling in the gaps the other leaves.

Harry smiles, and it feels easier and more genuine than it has in a while, but it’s nothing in comparison to the blindingly bright one Louis gives in return.

They rest of the band come in to finish the song and as the last notes echo through the stadium and past the screams of thousands of teenage girls, Harry feels heat envelope him from all sides as four bodies tackle him onto the couch.


End file.
